oh my! last time i wrote ramblings on my blog the sun was still hot, hot, hot, i was in my twenties, i was wearing my saltwater sandals to death, (if you don’t own a pair i seriously recommend you buy some-they are THE most comfy sandal in the world, but i do think it has cemented my transition to generic mama-form?!!) my coconut oil wasn’t a solidified rock in the pantry, we didn’t have the winter blankets on our beds and I’m pretty sure my brain had space somewhere amongst all the daily crap i think about to take on more than one thought at once.
I had planned on spending our morning clearing out my thoughts into my journal under a big shady tree whilst Ralph raced down slides and climbed up everything (probably wondering if he could jump off everything too), zooming around the park pushing his truck full of sand and twigs and chasing every little bird in sight.
Over the past couple of weeks, hot sunny days have been rolling into air conditioned nights, morning plays in the park have, at times, turned into all out Tonka truck wars (because Ralphs own Tonka truck is never as fabulous as the others, even if it's identical!) and we have lost way too many balls to count….
^^^Ralph decided being buried is the only way to stay cool at the beach^^^ Continue reading
For the past week or so I have been having a recurring dream. I'm on stage and I can't remember any of my lines, so instead I sing a song?! So after much research into what my dream means (thanks google) it turns out my subconcious is telling me I'm procrastinating. big time. I just can't seem to flick the switch from 'holiday' mode into 'this is going to be a BIG year so get your ass into gear' mode, missy!….
^^^my current state of mind right there!^^^
Its been a long, long time since i've shared everyday week photos with you hasn't it?! to sum it up it's been a week of summery sunshine and early morning rain showers, waking up to bird song (sometimes liked, sometimes not depending on the time!) lots of baking, beautiful impromptu folk singing, washing lemon trees and coffee, always coffee. having a rubbish nights sleep allows for it. after being woken by Big D tossing and turning I admitted defeat that sleepy time wasn't coming back anytime soon, so at 2am I sloped off to the lounge with the goldfinch under my arm. It turns out my two boys must have been in restless sync as Ralph was awake for half the night too and boy do I NOT miss those nights! Fingers crossed it was a one-off I really don't want any more sleep free nights. I've had my share thank you very much!
Cripes July really is zooming on past isn't it? Firstly thank you to those that have sent me such nourishing and comforting messages regarding my last post i was completely blown away- thank you. secondly, the weather has been so glorious we've taken every opportunity we've had and packed a little rucksack full of supplies (mainly mandarins) and got ourselves outdoors before the rain decides to come back, hence i've been a wee bit lazy on the blog front apologies but I'm like a moth to a flame when the sun is shining!
I love sharing all the fun moments that happen in our little world via my blog. All those happy smiley days captured forever for the whole world to see. But sometimes life just isn’t all that rosy and i need to tell you about those times too. Because they happen. And I don’t want to come across as one of those annoying ‘everything is always so bloody perfect’ people. Believe me they exist. I have met them…..
I’m typing this not because i want sympathy nor am i having a moan about how hard parenting can be (even though it ruddy well is) but i just want to let those mamas (and papas) out there who are having one of those days/weeks/ months that its cool. You’ve got this, everything is going to be a-okay. Eventually.
My breaking point happened around a few weeks ago in the middle of a packed cafe full of mamas getting their morning caffeine hit. All you need to know was that there were tears. Lots of tears. and maybe a little snot. (all mine) and plenty of sympathy glances (theirs).
If you’ve been following this blog for sometime you will know how crap of a sleeper Ralph is. But it was getting worse. he would wake too many times to remember not settling anywhere (not even in the previously guaranteed big bed). he was tired all the time and so was I. he would cling to me all day like his little life depended on it and would be so grizzly and upset for the majority of the day not letting me out of his sight AT ALL. wherever he went i would have to go. I love the fact i’m his bestest friend in the whole world but sometimes you just need a moment you know? i was stressed, Ralph was stressed, i was stressed because he was stressed, a huge downward spiral…. you get the picture!
We had a situation on our hands and i had no idea what to do. (Even the trusted having a LARGE glass of wine after Ralph’s bedtime and hoping that the next day would be better wasn’t working any more)
What had I been doing so wrong to make my little chap so utterly sad? I was on the brink of depression but after a long chat about my mental health it looks like I just need a little bit more support now and again (something I had clearly overlooked when moving the furthest away possible from everyone I knew and loved)
And as for Ralph, well, it turns out after having a parenting consultation with a professional (and not trying to self diagnose with every thing I came across thanks to Google) that he is just a totally ‘with it’ little guy. a very tired little guy who’s just working a heck of a lot of stuff out and needs his mama to be there because it’s a crazy confusing world in which we are living in and I think I kinda forgot the simple stuff somewhere along the way.
I hated the way I always blamed Ralph’s demanding behaviour on him being tired but 99% of the time it seems to be answer. I’ve been scooping him up and winding him down around every 4 hours whether it be with a book for a 10 minute chill or preparing him for his actual nap time for the past week and very slowly I’m seeing little positive changes. I really think we may be onto something…..